That is where we are at now with Hailey. For some reason, we cannot remember "terrible" twos with the boys. We visited family last weekend and we have two nephews that are younger than Hailey. My daughter lives in the world of older brothers. She doesn't have to share her stuff with anyone and when she picks up something of the boys, they grab it and yell "no". So...how well do you think that translates when she is with others. Yep, you guessed it :-)
So Hailey loves seeing her cousins, but spent lots of time grabbing toys from the boys and telling them, "no, no, no, no". She also has a habit of throwing toys. Unfortunately, those flying toys sometimes made contact with my nephews' heads. Luckily no one was hurt. If a toy gets put down, beware...Hailey grabs it immediately and it becomes "hers".
I felt like all weekend I was removing Hailey from the boys because she wasn't playing "nice". It was exhausting and I felt like I was always on guard for her behavior.
After speaking with a few other moms of children with Down syndrome, Hailey's behaviors are rather typical for a 2 year old with two older brothers. She repeats what she sees :-) The part that Ds plays in it seems to be her understanding of "no". She knows the word "no". She uses the word appropriately. The part she lacks is the realization that disobeying "no" results in consequences. Hailey doesn't comprehend that if I tell her "no" throwing that she will get in trouble if she disobeys. It is definitely going to be frustrating until she does "get" it, but she will get there.
Until then...we have LOTS of fun typical 2-year old stuff going on in our house :-)
 |
| Lesson learned by big brother....never leave anything open where little sister can reach! |
 |
| Hailey playing with the big kids |
 |
| Trying to sing Happy Birthday before celebrating her aunts' birthdays |
It's things like this that I feel like a new mom. It is hard to decipher what is typical and what is due to her having Down syndrome. It is frustrating sometimes. For the most part, we parent her like we did the boys and adjust as needed. At this point we would put the boys in time-out. We've tried a couple of times, but it is definitely not effective at this point. We generally remove her from the situation for a moment and then make her go back and reinforce. Either have her apologize or have her clean up. Little by little, we will figure this out :-)
In the meantime....Hello Terrible Twos!!!
 |
| She likes to make herself at home :-) |
 |
| Apparently, reading with a flashlight is cool! |
 |
| Papaw gave them all flashlights. |
 |
| Poor Landon looks scared of Hailey! |
 |
| She looks guilty and he looks annoyed. |
 |
| Now onto Jaxon. |
 |
| The boys look annoyed at the attention hog in the middle. |
 |
| She will sit for hours if someone will read to her. |
Yes!! I keep telling people that Ben is TWO and he has classic 2 year old behavior. Tantrums, throwing toys, not wanting to share, etc. With Ben, I think a lot of his frustration is communication-related. He knows what he wants, but he can't always communicate. And sometimes Mom has to say No. And he doesn't like that AT ALL. We are not really using time outs either. But I do have him pick up his messes and sign sorry to whoever he stole a toy from.
ReplyDeleteI know we are going to have ups and downs with behavior. It is just frustrating when people blame it all on Ds and don't think it could be her being 2.
DeleteSince Owen's an only, all I have to go on is his behavior. I have to think frequently about what would be acceptable behavior in public and at school, so that's where I base what he is doing. We didn't do time outs until O was a little over 3 years old because he simply didn't get it. We still do the removal from area and now we take things away and tell him that "because you did ___, you cannot have ___ for the next __ minutes". It's actually starting to click more for him. I think it's because he's older, his cognition is getting better, and we're repeating it however many times it's necessary. I'm always in what I call "the long haul" for every process we do. I figure if I don't teach this now, he'll be 25 and throwing stuff at strangers........which is something I want to do sometimes to rude people, but still...not a good thing!
ReplyDeleteI sometimes want to do it to rude people too!
DeleteI'm hoping some things start clicking soon. I could deal with them, but I have issues dealing with people blaming it on Ds and not that she is 2!
DeleteOh, how I hear you!! We are in the throes of the "terrible two's" with Madi!! We started working with a behaviorist for a few of the behaviors because we were running out of ideas to curb the behaviors (like hitting ALL THE TIME). Hang in there, mama!! This too shall pass (or at least I hope!!). :)
ReplyDeleteDo you have any good suggestions?
DeleteYour post reminds me of those first days after the birth of my son, Max, when we were trying to figure out all this new Ds stuff. My husband and I were reading the "Babies with Down Syndrome" book--and we found it funny how much it was describing our typically developing 4-year old. "Your toddler with Ds might do such-and-such" it would say, and we'd just think, well, our 4-year-old without Ds is doing exactly that, and it's exasperating, but maybe this isn't all that different than what we were expecting after all. :)
ReplyDeleteAh the terrible two's, they are not fun! Russell is my fifth baby but sometimes I feel like a new Mom for the very same reason you stated above. I question sometimes what behaviors have to do with Ds and what is just typcial...Or how those behaviors should be corrected because of Ds. I have to take into account what Russell can comprehend and sometimes that alone is a guessing game!
ReplyDeleteGood post!
I thought that too....Hailey is my 3rd and there are days I feel like a new Mom. Glad to know I wasn't the only one that felt like that!
DeleteI think about this too! Having Colin first, though, was good because he was/is stubborn and has a temper. Thanks to Colin, Ben seems pretty easy going!
ReplyDeleteHailey is easier going at home, but when we get with a large group she doesn't share well :-) I'm hoping preschool helps with that!
DeleteMy Chunky Love is an only child and I feel like we are just now hitting the terrible 2s/terrific 3s. (She turns 4 next week). I constantly have to redirect her--the hitting, the shirt pulling, the Ellie STOP!, toy stealing/throwing. Sigh. Time outs do not work. I can say "Ellie do you want to go to a time out?" and she actually puts herself into time out. It is like she gets the noun part of the sentence but not the rest of it or the why behind it. Maybe it will all get easier with Hailey since she does have two older siblings?
ReplyDeleteI'm hoping it gets easier, but who knows! I have a friend whose typical daughter always put herself in time-out when situations were overwhelming to her.
Delete