Letter to Myself...Summer Blog Hop

This is my 3rd post in the Summer Blog Hop.

Dear Michelle....February 2011,

Enjoy every last second of this pregnancy.  I know you have decided it's your last, but you won't have as much time as you think.  This little girl that you have had ultrasound techs verify is a girl 5 times, is going to surprise you 5 weeks early.  There is something else I need to tell you.  The doctor is going to tell you he suspects that she has Down syndrome.  Don't freak!  It is NOT the end of the world.

Yes, your life will change.  She will need check ups from doctors that you don't have with the boys.  She will need to be watched closer those first few months because she will go into heart failure and have open heart surgery.  Yes, you are strong enough.  Yes, you can handle it.  She is a rockstar and will do fabulous!  You will leave the hospital 72 hours later with a different baby.  She will still look like Hailey and sound like Hailey, but she will be so full of life.  She will have a little reminder (her scar), but it will be a happy reminder.  She is a fighter and she is strong.  It will be a symbol of that and a symbol of her second chance at life.

Don't worry about what others think of Hailey.  You will be surprised.  She sort of demands attention where ever she goes.  Even if you try to be inconspicuous...she will draw attention to herself.  She loves attention and will wave and say Hi to anyone who will look her way.  You will see that she is quite the girly, girl.  She will like all things sparkly...shoes, purses and yes, jewelry.

Yes, her milestones will be delayed compared to the boys, but they are so much fun.  She works so hard at each one of them that the entire family will celebrate.  You need to chill though.  You can wish her or will her to do things.  Sitting, crawling, walking, talking...they will all come in her own time, not yours.

Forget about wasting time worrying about how her brothers will be with her.  They will love her unconditionally and she will drive them absolutely crazy.  Would you want it any other way?

Life won't be all unicorns and rainbows, but I don't think you will even understand that.  Hailey will exceed all your expectations, but she will also change your expectations.  It won't all be easy.  Her disability will challenge everything you believed in.  It will make you change your mind about certain things and it will drive you crazy at times.  You will learn more in those first few years than you have in the past 10.  Medical jargon, diagnoses, therapy, IEPs, waivers, and the list continues.

Don't worry though.  You aren't in this alone.  Everyone is still here.  Your family and friends.  They all love her and think she's perfect (well most of the time).  You will also have an entirely new set of friends and helpers.  You are will soon be part of a new family.  Your Ds family.  They are the ones that have gone through all this before or they are the ones that are going through it with you now.  They understand.  They've been there.

You are in for one heck of a ride.  Enjoy it.  Life's short.  Oh...one last thing.  Your family will look just as normal as the next!  Here's a glimpse of what's too come.  She's spunky, sassy, a show off, funny and absolutely full of life!

Please check out other posts in the blog hop...below.