Dare to Dream

In the moments after we heard, "I believe your daughter has Down syndrome", a great deal of hopes and dreams vanished.  You have to remember, these were all based on very old "opinions" and ignorance.  I automatically assumed that Hailey would live with us forever and automatically assumed she would not attend college or have a career.  Without a doubt, I thought that was her future....living forever with my husband and I (which is fine if that is what happens).  Slowly over time, I realized that there are many adults with Ds living on their own, living with roommates, getting married and yes, attending college.  Most of the blogs I follow have little ones that are only 6 months to a couple of years older than Hailey.  They helped me tremendously because they helped me see that some of the issues we were struggling with were just phases and she would move onto something else.

Then last year, I started following a blog written by Gary (Margaret) Bender.  I was intrigued because her daughter, Alex, is a young adult with Down syndrome (you can read more about Alex's adventures here).  I will admit that in reading Gary's blog and through some of her comments on Facebook, she has frightened me about some of the issues of a teen with Down syndrome.  She has made me think about a part of life I had automatically shut out for Hailey.  Her daughter, Alex, voiced her opinion and her family listened!  Alex wanted to attend college like her siblings and that IS exactly what she is doing!!!  Alex traveled to Ohio (her parents live in Colorado) this week to attend orientation at the University of Cincinnati.  In the fall, Alex will live on campus while mom and dad stay in Colorado.  I don't know how many of you will ever understand what this means to me.  It absolutely frightens me to send my two boys away to college.  I can't in 100 million years dream of sending Hailey that far.  

From day 1, I've underestimated my daughter.  I've underestimated her drive, her persistence, her need to keep up with her brothers.  She has always surpassed every goal we have made for her with early intervention.  For example, last week, Hailey's homework was to add two words or two signs, she's added 5 (and they've all been spoken words...not signs!)  So why did I automatically remove so many dreams from her future.  I can't predict what will happen in 18-20 years with Hailey no more than I can with the boys.  But watching Gary and Alex live out a dream that I closed, has brought so many happy tears to my eyes.  It scares me and excites me at the same time.  I'm so excited to read about Alex's college adventures (as many as she will actually share with her mom...she is a college student, you know!)

I can't wait until Hailey gets older and starts to share her dreams with us.  Who knows where they will lead her?


Another new "skill" Hailey is working on....apparently clothes are now optional :-)