Always chopped liver....

In my household, certain things are given....my middle child will not like the clothes I laid out for school...my oldest will leave his pjs on the floor and his breakfast dishes at the table...my husband will fall back asleep at least once after turning his alarm off...I will start 4 projects at the same time and lose focus going into another room and forget what I started.  Another big thing...mom IS chopped liver and Dad is who they light up for.  Dad is the one they want to cuddle with...Dad is the one they want to play games with...Dad is the one they want to put them to sleep.  Yes, I do understand...mom is the one that is always with them and Dad works a lot.  I'm fine with being chopped liver because these pics make me smile and I would never want to come between this...

(Don't mind the drool...she'll get a tooth in some day!  The quality isn't great in all of them...she likes to move!)

Check out the package Hailey received in the mail today...we are stocked in the hair bow department for awhile! What an awesome gift!

First Celebration of Monkey's First Birthday

11 months and 3 weeks ago, I couldn't think this far into the future.  I couldn't feel this joy.  I wouldn't let myself dream even this far into the future.  My eyes are now open.  I'm so glad.  I couldn't/wouldn't miss this little girl's first birthday for anything in the world!  I'm sure I will dig deeper into that day almost a year ago later in the week as her birthday approaches but for now, I enjoyed this early celebration of her 1st birthday!

 Well Monkey celebrated her birthday this weekend with my husband's family (celebration #1 out of 3).

Mamaw reading Cookie Monster

Hailey with Aunt Kerri & Aunt Staci

We wondered how she would act with her birthday cake.  I'll let you be the judge of that!

This is hard work!

Enough...

I should be in bed...I should be asleep.  The house is quiet...me alone in the quiet...me with my thoughts.  Some days that is good, it is when I accomplish the most and I am the most creative (trust me, I'm lacking in that department).  Not tonight... I read a blog post when I was putting the boys to bed that I can't get out of my head.  I can't shake it because it is so true...it was almost as if she pulled the thoughts straight from my heart.  I think the feelings are more intense as Hailey's birthday approaches.  It was written by a mom that I admire.  She has given me boosts when I need them and she always has wonderful compliments about my little monkey (who wouldn't love someone that compliments their children :-)  You can read her post here.  Patti's dream is one I have had many times.  Mine was never when I was asleep...mine has always been daydreaming, but the thoughts and dreams are the same. 

Don't misunderstand me....I LOVE my daughter...I LOVE every smirk, smile, giggle, and characteristic that she has.  Without Down syndrome, she would not be who she is.  I may not see the determination that she possesses, if I didn't watch her during therapy push herself as hard as her mom and L are pushing her.  She wouldn't be my sweet, cuddly baby because she would possibly be walking now...too independent.  A lot of the characteristics that make her Hailey, wouldn't exist if she didn't have Down syndrome.  I don't like her struggles.  I don't like the anxiety of the specialist appointments that she has.  I don't like the medical issues that "might" come up in the future.

As Patti wrote, we always worry if we are "enough" for our children.  Am I choosing the right supplements?  Are we doing enough therapy?  Am I spending enough time working on cognitive development?  Should we be spending more time working on gross motor...fine motor?  Are we making the right choices for Hailey?  If she misses an IFSP goal, is it something we didn't do?  What could we have done differently?  Parenting Hailey is harder than the boys.  It sometimes seems effortless with them...it comes natural.  I don't second-guess every decision I make for them.  Yes, I worry about them and worry if I am making the best decisions but I don't have to worry about EVERYTHING with them. 

Patti is right...we need to stop....I can't be the best mom for Hailey (and her fabulous brothers) if I'm always asking "Am I Enough."  God blessed our family with Hailey so HE thinks we are enough.  I have to trust in that.  So I need to thank Patti for reminding me that I'm not the only one that has those "dreams"...it doesn't mean I love Hailey any less and that I am enough for my daughter.

Hailey's new favorite toy...(and it's quiet!)

She loves her ears and her nose.  Apparently, it feels good on swollen gums.

Crazy hair but sweet face!

My Valentine's

We had a low-key Valentine's Day.  The day started out a little snowy and that switched to drizzle.  Definitely gloomy weather today.  My wonderful neighbor kept Hailey and my middle son so Jason and I could enjoy lunch together that didn't involve refereeing children, french fries, tiny fingers stealing food off our plates, shushing to be quiet, or crayons.  Granted...we did talk about the kids some but it was nice to have an adult conversation.

I found this on the family room floor this afternoon.  I'm not sure how chewed up paper looks coming out of a diaper....

Here are pics of my Valentine's.  This is officially the last of Hailey's "first" holidays.  Hard to believe she has made it through all of them!  She is having an early birthday celebration this weekend.  The boys are excited for family to visit.  I'm sure Hailey is too (if she really understood it all!)

I did read some fabulous news here today.   Charlotte is another step closer to coming home to her forever family!  Don't forget to check out Hailey's friend, Ellie...here.  Not only is Ellie absolutely adorable, but her mom is giving away lots of prized for Ellie's first birthday!

Hmmm...I wonder what her nose tastes like?

My brothers love tickling me.

How did I get so lucky???