We all know that racial and religious slurs are very much a part of history. Everyone of us grew up hearing one or another. I am a product of the 90's. The r-word is what we said when we thought something was dumb, lame or stupid. I am embarrassed that I used it. I wish someone would have called me out on it. An online medical dictionary defines Down syndrome as: the most common cause of mental retardation and malformation in a newborn. Wikipedia defines it as: a chromosomal condition caused by the presence of all or part of a third copy of chromosome 21.[1] Down syndrome is the most common chromosome abnormality in humans.[2] It is typically associated with a delay in cognitive ability (mental retardation, or MR) and physical growth, and a particular set of facial characteristics. Do you see the common theme? Mental retardation. When people use the r-word in every day slang, it changes the word. It is now not medical terminology used to describe an individual with intellectual disabilities. It is a derogatory word that in essence mocks those individuals affected with disabilities.
Over time, it has become socially unacceptable to use racial and religious slurs. There is a big movement in Hollywood now for people to stop using the word "gay" as slang. So why doesn't Hollywood blink an eye when using the r-word or Downsy in their films?
Do I think every person that uses the r-word is purposely mocking or making fun of my daughter? No. I don't think most people are using the word in malice, but as a parent of a child with Down syndrome, can't you please find a different word to use? Please stand up and help us end the use of this word. For my daughter...for the other 400,000 individuals with Down syndrome.
The next time you hear the r-word or get ready to use it...think of this beautiful little girl. Would you or could you say it to her face? Please have more respect for my daughter!
I'm sorry that you feel this way. There are words out there that hurt someone in someway every day. Just a make a promise to yourself that you will not use it and ignore those that do. If I let those get to me that offend me on a daily basis, I would get nothing else done. Focus your energy on Hailey, the boys, and your husband. Beyond that, nothing else matters. She is a beautiful girl : )In the end she will know that you feel the same, no matter what others say.
ReplyDeleteI know that I will encounter people throughout life that will offend me in some way. I generally don't say anything to people when they are using it unless it is a repeated thing. I will ask family and friends to no longer use it in front of us. They wouldn't use the n-word to my brother-in-law. I feel that is just being respectful.
DeleteI happen to feel the same way. My thoughts are that if racial slurs and gender preference slurs are no longer acceptable in this country, then the derogatory use for the r-word should no longer be commonplace. Many people are ignorant and it is up to us parents to educate. If one person reads this and walks away understanding the message, they in turn can educate someone else. It will be a slow process, but I believe that one day, the r-word will be right up with n*gger, f*g, and that's so g*y--viewed as insulting and inappropriate. Our child are not stupid, they will grow up and hear that r-word and they will know. How do I know this? My aunt who happens to have Ds cringes when the word is used in a movie or when it is thrown at her.
ReplyDeleteHailey is as beautiful as always!
I never knew better when I said it. I'm embarrassed that I ever used the word. I generally don't police it in public but I do ask that our friends and family stop using it out of respect for Hailey.
DeleteTotally agree Michelle! I don't get bent out of shape when someone uses the word but I do think a little less of them if they know Ben and still use it.
ReplyDeleteI do ask family and friends not to use it anymore out of respect for Hailey.
DeleteThis is definitely a tough subject. I admit that I have had a couple times when I didn't summon the courage to correct someone who used the word. Bad advocacy for sure! Thank you for this post.
ReplyDeleteOh, claire, don't be too hard on yourself!!! I don't always comment on the word when out in public. I generally only call out family and friends. You have to pick and choose sometimes. Unfortunately, it is a matter of the right time and the right place!
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