The Hailey Herald

The Hailey Herald

Friday, July 12, 2013

Happy 2nd Heart Day!

Today, I sit and listen to Hailey trying to worm her way between her two brothers as they play a video game.  She chats away to both of them (who probably are unaware she is sitting between them unless she smacks them in the head with a book or extra gaming controller).  She is happy just being with them, being beside them.  In a few minutes, she will toddle back into the family room  to show me what goodies she is hoarding in her bucket or shopping cart.  I never dreamed of this day, I couldn't. 

Two years ago, we were waiting, pacing and crying while we waited for word from the operating room about Hailey's open heart surgery.  The repair that would enhance her life....the one that would prolong her life.  Hailey was showing early signs of heart failure.  It was surgery or lose her.  Even though the decision was a no brainer, we were frightened because as common as her surgery is, if something went wrong, we would lose her anyway.  I don't think I'll ever forget the way I felt as we pulled into Children's hospital at 6 a.m.  The halls so quiet as if everything was in a whisper state.  It was almost as if I could hear the clock ticking away the minutes in my ear...the countdown.  Hailey was in such a fabulous mood that morning.  I won't forget the feeling of standing at the entrance to her operating room.  The sights, the smells, my fear.  Handing her to the anesthesiologist, so terrified I wouldn't see her again.  The nurse putting his arm around me saying, "We'll care for her as if she is our own."  It all still brings tears to my eyes and a huge sigh in my chest.  Those memories will never go away and I'm not sure the feeling ever will either. 

It is often hard to believe looking at Hailey that she was ever sick or ever fighting for the energy to eat and breathe at the same time.  Hard to believe that we were worrying if we would lose her when she is so vibrant.

But I sometimes wonder, is it because of all of those events that life sometimes sweeter?  Milestones bigger?  Sunrises more promising?  Sunsets more spectacular?  Giggles more contagious?  We will never know.  It just part of our story...her story.  I do know that I never let myself dream of today.  Listening to my three "hanging" out.  Watching Hailey mother over her babies or dart through the kitchen with her shopping cart like she is missing a huge sale somewhere.  I never let myself dream of the sassy, funny, so full of life two year old that we have today. 

We don't worry about her heart anymore.  It is strong and it is healed.  Honestly, it's not a thought on the radar anymore.  Most of the time, we are too busy chasing her!  I will never forget this day and I will always thank God for medical advances, our very talented surgeon and dedicated medical team. 

Happy 2nd Heart-versary, Hailey!!!!


The night before OHS

Two days after


One year later

Today...two years later


10 comments:

  1. Amazing...Happy Heart Day!! I love that- I will be using that on my little Pip who had Heart surgery 2 months ago...

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    1. Just found your comment (it was in my spam)! We celebrate like it's another birthday :-) Can't wait to see pics of Pip on her Heart Day!!

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  2. This was beautiful, Michelle. So hard to believe that 2 years have already gone by for our girls. Happy heart day to you!

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    1. Thanks! I can't believe it either. Something that was always the biggest thought in our minds is now such a memory! Life is awesome!!!

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  3. Happy heartiversary, Hailey!! I remember those feelings, too, but am so glad they're now so far in the past. It's amazing how quickly time flies, and soon the major surgery that saved her life is almost forgotten when doctors ask, "has she ever been hospitalized?" Why, no! I always start to say, then I remember and it's that palm smack to the forehead moment.

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    1. OMG! I thought I was the only one that forgot about it with a doctor!!! It is amazing that the mind and heart heals so quickly :-)

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  4. Beautiful post. Happy Heart Day(yesterday)!!

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