It is also difficult for me to grasp the little person we have in our lives. She isn't what I thought we were going to have. The wave of fear that washed over me when the doctor uttered those two words "Down syndrome" brought images and stereotypes of what I thought Down syndrome looked like, what it was. I laugh at those now. She doesn't fit a single one of them, but neither does any person I have met over the last four years with Down syndrome. I thought she would be the wall flower in the corner of the room. The only way she would be in the corner now is if she is in time-out! Wallflower...she definitely is not! She wants to world to notice her and loves attention.
The first night, the first 12 hours of her life, I questioned "why God"? "Why us?" "What did we do wrong?" I still sometimes ask "Why God?", but in such a different way. Not out of sorrow or anguish, but out of pure shock and amazement. How did we get so lucky? Why did God chose to give us this wonderful gift? This little girl that lives life to the fullest. This perfect little person that has made us appreciate so many more things in life. She has brought so many wonderful people into our life that we never would have met before and some of them are in our own community. Why can't everyone get this lucky? What on earth did I ever do to deserve her (or her brothers)?
|The day before open heart surgery|
A few weeks ago, a friend and I were talking about miscarriages. She happened to have one between her 2nd and 3rd children as well. I told her how quickly we became pregnant with Hailey afterwards and without missing a beat, she said, "God didn't make a mistake with Hailey, did he? He had her ready for you. He wanted to make sure you were ready for her." I turned my head so she wouldn't see the tears forming in my eyes. I've always thought that, but it made my heart happy to hear someone else say it.
Every holiday with Hailey seems to be better than previous one because she gains so much more understanding and gets so excited. I'm positive this birthday will not disappoint. She has requested cupcakes, cake, chocolate, presents and Elsa! I can't wait to celebrate with her!!
|Who wouldn't want to celebrate with her?|