Day of Rememberance

March 9th is always a day that makes me stop and think.  Stop and try to remember to a time 33 years ago...I was only 5, my younger brother only 12 months old...this year, the same age as my sweet little Hailey.  You see, 33 years ago on March 9th, my mother passed away.  I was so young that I have only one or two memories of her.  Even at best, those are sketchy.  More like fill-in-the-blank.  I think I may have even made up part of them by this time.  I'm not sure what is real and what has been told to me.  I was young, but she was young.  She was only 26 when she died.  I've had issues as I've gotten older dealing with her death.  I had issues when I was 26...when Brayden turned 5 (because ironically Ian was 1...same age as my brother and I). 

It is hard losing a parent, no matter how old you are.  Her death was unexpected and being so young, I didn't understand what was happening...only that my mom was in a place called Heaven and I wouldn't see her again.  I was very fortunate...my father remarried to a woman who from day 1 was my "mom".  She has been my mom now for 31 years and am very grateful to have her in my life but it still doesn't stop the "what ifs" of thinking.

I do think she would love my children as much as their other grandparents do.  From what I've been told, she would be as much in love with Hailey as we are and she would be just as proud.  I think of her as Hailey's guardian angel...I feel that she watched over her when I couldn't be there...in the NICU...during her open heart surgery.  It might sound kooky to some and make others roll their eyes but that is what I believe.

On another note...our newly one year old has turn into a mini-tornado.  Her increased mobility of her army crawl/sometimes creeping and gained her access to so many things.  She has a new love...her favorite things to do now is standing up.  She pulls herself up on anything that stands still.  That seems to add to the number of things she can get into.  It does make accomplishing things a little more difficult.  I have been trying to finish this blog post now for an hour.  She keeps grabbing the keyboard...pulling the power cord out...typing...grabbing my arms...grabbing the screen.  No matter how far away from the laptop I put her, it is only a matter of minutes (sometimes seconds) and she is right back at it.  I do love her persistence and determination :-)  I do LOVE that she is into everything.  The girl is not going to be a wallflower...she is going to be in the thick of things!

Busted emptying the diaper basket again!

Ian's idea of playing with Hailey...surrounding her with toys.

What...I didn't unplug the laptop!

No, really...you don't see it!

Future "Cowboys Cheerleader" tee...kind of goes with one of last week's posts

Have a good weekend!

Big brothers, you have been warned...She's on the move!

The girl is on the move.  It is not what most would call an army crawl...I think it most resembles an inchworm at the moment but it is forward motion (she's been going backwards for almost 2 months) and I'm celebrating.  She's worked hard for it!  She'll get to creeping eventually, she loves to get on all 4s and rock back and forth.  She occasionally even brings her knee up.  We'll keep working on it and she'll get it (more than likely when she decides...not her momma!). 

Yesterday, L came for our weekly therapy session.  We worked on other things and decided to pick up with the army crawl again.  We tried to entice Hailey with everything...ipod, ipad, cell phone, toys, big brother, etc.  Hailey would just sat herself up, smiled, and said with her eyes, "Ha!  I don't want to crawl but I've mastered sitting and I'll show that off!"  We played that game for what seemed like forever.  Somehow through the session, Hailey took of her socks...surprise, surprise.  I tossed them aside.  They caught Hailey's eye and there she went after them!  I was giddy...then I wanted to hit my head against the wall because we tried everything to get her to move (or so we thought!).  L left happy...although she did admit that she was getting frustrated that Hailey was being so stubborn.  Hailey, of course, was forgiven once she moved forward for the socks! 

Trying to entice her last night with her socks again.  In true Hailey fashion, she wasn't going to give into the socks a second time!

Yeah right, mom!

Well...maybe.

Hmmm....do I really want it?

Nope, not worth the energy!

Today, Hailey didn't seem thrilled that I wanted her to do it again but the trooper that she is, gave in.  That will happen when mom is offering Cheerios and won't give me my bottle until I crawl to a few!  Don't worry, I only held up her bottle for about 15 minutes :-)  And...yes...I did clean the floor and don't generally encourage my children to eat off the floor!

But mom...they are so far away!

Yay!  I got one!

Mom, this really is hard work.  Do I have to keep doing it?

Really...this is hard!

OK...maybe I'll go for one more.

Ahhhh....my last one!

Did you see that?  I did it!!!!

Aren't you going to cheer?

I let her take a break the rest of the day.  It really did wipe her out!  It was very cold so we snuggled this afternoon and spent time with the boys.  I have to share this photo because it is soooo funny!  I asked the boys to help get Hailey's pjs on this evening.  They seemed to think it was hard work.  Ha!

Tonight, we found out might be Hailey's biggest motivator to be mobile.  Her brothers and their stuff!  The boys were playing Connect 4 Launchers.  I looked over to see this.....

The girl found what she wanted!

She got it!

And she is happy about it!

 
I'm pretty sure that nothing will be safe now and I LOVE it!  Thank goodness the boys' legos are now upstairs (and I have a feeling stairs are a long way off)!  She tires quicker than the boys did when they started crawling but she has determination and she will get stronger.  I'm so proud of my little peanut!  She has worked so hard to accomplish something that comes so easy to most children.  There are days I feel bad for pushing her so hard but the above smile makes me realize, it is working and it is worth it!

On another note...winter has hit.  Here is our weather from yesterday and it was bitter, bitter cold today.  It's supposed to be in the 40s next week so we'll live with it :-)

Full throttle & screeching halt

Anyone who knows me...knows I am passionate.  When I have an idea in my head, I run with it.  100 miles per hour and don't look back.  I give it my all.  It is all I think about and talk about.  For example, I will start a new exercise regimen...I will jump in feet first and commit to it (sometimes over commit).  Then something happens.  I come down with a cold, hurt myself, something.  Crash...I gave it my all but once I'm off that track I have a horrible time committing to get back on track.  It is one of my biggest faults.  I've done it with...household organization, exercising, dieting, etc.  You get the picture.  As a result of my flaw, I have decided to take "baby steps".  I'm breaking everything up into smaller pieces.  Exercising...I don't have to start right up with 5 days a week...I'm going to start with 10-15 minutes at a time.  Instead of starting a strict diet, I will cut out things a little at a time.  Taking one day at a time!  All huge goals have steps to attain them.  Just like teaching Hailey how to crawl.  We have to break it down into smaller steps...day by day...one at a time.  OK...enough about my low self-esteem and lack of willpower!

Hailey is rapidly approaching 1.  As proud as I am of the past year....how far Hailey has come...how far my husband and I have come.  I want time to slow down.  I'm not ready for her to turn 1.  My baby is getting too big and boy, is she getting ATTITUDE!  Her newest "trick" has her giddy.  She loves the fact that she can sit herself up.  Yes, it is fantastic and I am incredibly proud of her.  The issue...now she doesn't like practicing crawling as much.  Ughhh....I place her on her stomach and find something to entice her with...ipod, remote, jewelry, etc., she pops herself into a sitting position and cracks up laughing at me.  She is something else!  Last week with EI, we did get her to army crawl about 6 inches...no, not a lot, but I almost cried.  She tries so hard and it is so hard for her but she is doing it!  Little by little...baby steps :-) 

I have been keeping to my commitment of taking at least one picture a day (nope, still haven't learned more with my camera, but I have time!).  Most of them are of Hailey and the boys.  I'm sure I can find different subjects eventually but highly unlikely as Peanut's birthday approaches and Brayden plays basketball!

Here are a few pics of Hailey from the last few days:

Who?  Me?

Told you, I can raise my arms.  I just didn't want to do it in therapy!

Hmm...what is this book?

Someone looks happy to have found Sophie again!

I told you...I don't want to crawl today!

Almost got it (sorry it is blurry!)

Ha!  This is what i want!

Off to work on one of my projects...baby steps!