March 9th is always a day that makes me stop and think. Stop and try to remember to a time 33 years ago...I was only 5, my younger brother only 12 months old...this year, the same age as my sweet little Hailey. You see, 33 years ago on March 9th, my mother passed away. I was so young that I have only one or two memories of her. Even at best, those are sketchy. More like fill-in-the-blank. I think I may have even made up part of them by this time. I'm not sure what is real and what has been told to me. I was young, but she was young. She was only 26 when she died. I've had issues as I've gotten older dealing with her death. I had issues when I was 26...when Brayden turned 5 (because ironically Ian was 1...same age as my brother and I).
It is hard losing a parent, no matter how old you are. Her death was unexpected and being so young, I didn't understand what was happening...only that my mom was in a place called Heaven and I wouldn't see her again. I was very fortunate...my father remarried to a woman who from day 1 was my "mom". She has been my mom now for 31 years and am very grateful to have her in my life but it still doesn't stop the "what ifs" of thinking.
I do think she would love my children as much as their other grandparents do. From what I've been told, she would be as much in love with Hailey as we are and she would be just as proud. I think of her as Hailey's guardian angel...I feel that she watched over her when I couldn't be there...in the NICU...during her open heart surgery. It might sound kooky to some and make others roll their eyes but that is what I believe.
On another note...our newly one year old has turn into a mini-tornado. Her increased mobility of her army crawl/sometimes creeping and gained her access to so many things. She has a new love...her favorite things to do now is standing up. She pulls herself up on anything that stands still. That seems to add to the number of things she can get into. It does make accomplishing things a little more difficult. I have been trying to finish this blog post now for an hour. She keeps grabbing the keyboard...pulling the power cord out...typing...grabbing my arms...grabbing the screen. No matter how far away from the laptop I put her, it is only a matter of minutes (sometimes seconds) and she is right back at it. I do love her persistence and determination :-) I do LOVE that she is into everything. The girl is not going to be a wallflower...she is going to be in the thick of things!
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| Busted emptying the diaper basket again! |
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| Ian's idea of playing with Hailey...surrounding her with toys. |
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| What...I didn't unplug the laptop! |
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| No, really...you don't see it! |
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| Future "Cowboys Cheerleader" tee...kind of goes with one of last week's posts |
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| Have a good weekend! |
So sorry for your loss. I'm sure she would adore your kids. My stepmom passed away suddenly. She was never able to meet my kids either. I think about how much she would have adored them a lot.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry about your losing your mom so young. I often wonder about my dad with Miss K ... he loved his grandsons but always wanted a granddaughter; I think he would have adored her too.
ReplyDeleteAnd speaking of Miss K ... she and Hailey would get into a lot of mischief together! :)
The boys surround fi with toys too. I am sure this is a hard anniversary for you. You are in my thoughts today
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry for your loss. I'm glad that you were able to think of her watching over Hailey - especially during surgery. I bet your mom would get a kick out of Hailey - she seems like she's got a lot of spunk. :)
ReplyDeleteMy dad passed away right after I graduated college, so he missed my wedding and the births of all of his grandkids. I think about what their relationships would be like.
I could not help but tear up reading your post. I can only imagine how hard it is each year when March 9th rolls around. {HUGS}. As for Miss Hailey, she is a little stinker pulling on that laptop! She and Ellie need to get together :)
ReplyDeleteI'm sure your mom would adore Hailey! My mom lost her mom as a young girl and her story is very similar to yours. She was able to lead a happy life without her mom, but there always is a pain that can never be healed. She also struggled when she reached the age her mom passed. She really thought she wouldn't make it throught that year herself. But, on a positive note, although we never knew my grandmother, we always felt her spirit with us. In fact, Colin was born on her birthday and, if he had been a girl, I would have named him after her:)
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