I have to admit. Recently I have been down. I've been going crazy over getting Hailey to walk. (Statistically, the average age for a child with Ds to walk is 2). Just like I went crazy for her to support her head...sit up on her own...get herself into a sitting position...army crawling...crawling...cruising. See the pattern? I "might" be goal oriented and a control freak. You see, everything about Hailey challenges me in almost every part of my personality. I'm not a wait and see kind of person. I'm not someone who is patient. I have a tendency to butt heads. Not intentionally. I'm just stubborn...head-strong. Hailey is stubborn...head-strong. Hailey is a go-getter. She sees what she wants and goes after it. Hailey never does anything that she doesn't want to do until she is ready to do it. You would think that I would have accepted that by now. She'll be 21 months old next week. I've had time to adjust. My head knows all of it, but my heart doesn't always get the message. Last night we were all hanging out in the family room. My husband had the Toys R Us ad on his lap. Hailey saw it...let go of the couch and took 6 independent (not touching anything) to grab it. Was she ready to make her Christmas list or did she just want to destroy it? I'm not sure because I took it away from her after I tricked her into walking 4 or 5 more times for it.
I think I finally realized last night that it isn't up to me. I can't will her to walk. I can give her all the tools to walk and help her exercise all the body parts that need to be strong enough to walk, but I can't do it for her. She has to want to...she has to be ready both physically and mentally. So for at least now, I'm loosening the reins. No, she's not getting a "get out of jail free card". She's still going to work at therapy. I'm still going to sneak in walking, kneeling and squatting into every activity I can think of. I'm just not going to let the obsession of her walking overshadow my daughter. Just as Ds does not define Hailey...whether or not she walks does not define how well she is doing.
Let's see how long this zen moment lasts for me :-)
I had the kids' pictures taken this weekend. I don't have the images yet, but here is a sneak peek. I'm excited to see how the rest turn out!
I think the pity party shows up time and time again just to surprise us. At least it does for me. I've had a few lately, when I read about a girl a couple months older than Cora speaking in full sentences. Sometimes it's OK to feel down. Hope your zen moments continue. But she DID take 6 steps! Hailey is really ahead of the curve on so many things, especially compared to her peers with Ds. She is amazing, and so are you.
ReplyDeleteThanks! I wish they didn't happen so often! The neighbor was over the other day with her little girl (who is a couple months younger than Hailey). The mom was quizzing her daughter on colors. Seriously?!? I'm thrilled to hear mom, dad, book, etc. I know people don't mean to intentionally do things like that, but they drive me over the edge some days!
DeleteLook at Hailey and her brothers! Sweetness!
ReplyDeleteI have a hard time imagining Ben walking by age 2. He's so reluctant to even stand. Although he did pull himself up to a kneeling position the other day (to grab something off the couch), so he's getting stronger and more confident.
It sounds like Hailey's almost there - maybe this will be one of those times when you write about it NOT happening, and then it happens. Either way, I hope your zen moment will continue :) ...
Who knows how long it will last. Probably until the holidays and we are around children that are so much younger than Hailey :-) I'll be honest, it will probably hit me then! She is getting stronger every day and she is so close, but there are times then that I feel we are sooooo far from it! We just keep squatting, kneeling, etc. We keep trucking! Ben will get there, too!
DeleteI think we all go through it. . . lately I have been having them more and more. Not with walking, but with talking. I see kids with Ds a full year younger than Ellie speaking clearly and in sentences. Bear now has 7 words that can be understood by others. The most recent one happened last week and I bragged about it to family and therapists. She said "Pig!!!!"
ReplyDeleteAnyway, what I am saying is this is normal and I do hope your zen moments last and perhaps rub of on me :-) I am excited that Miss Hailey took 6 SIX independent steps. Whoot Whoot!
Mine seem to come in waves...several in a row and then I either accept or become immune to them :-) Not sure which! Way to go, Ellie!!! PIG!!!
DeleteI cannot even tell you how much I know exactly how you feel. Kamdyn is the same way. I don't even know what is holding her back. She'll take a few steps, and it's almost like she thinks, "Ok, I took my few steps. I better stop now." It's hard to be patient.
ReplyDeleteThat is the way Hailey seems. She will take a few and then sit down like "well, I've done what they want. Now time to do what I want to do"!
DeleteYes, Yes, Yes, Amen, Etc. I am horrible with the milestone obsession thing. Elina is just the same way.
ReplyDeleteI wish we weren't in such a goal oriented world! Oh, well. At least we get to go through it together!
DeleteEvery now and then I need a pity party too:) It seems like Hailey is so close to walking! Hang in there momma!
ReplyDeleteI can see Hailey already has you figured out and she is only 21 months...Great job..and a very thoughtful post on those moments we wait so long for. Have a great holiday! Gary
ReplyDeleteOh, that little girl has figured out early on how to push her mom's buttons! Hope your Thanksgiving was good!
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