Some days when I look at sweet little Miss Hailey, I feel like I have the devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other. You know...like they portray a person talking with their conscious on cartoons. When I look at Hailey playing or when we are doing therapy, I don't "see" the same future I imagined the day we found out she has Down syndrome. I don't look at her and think she is going to live with my husband and I forever. I don't look at her and think she won't attend college if she wants to or that she won't be employable or she won't be able to communicate with us and the rest of the world. That and much worse are the thoughts that ran through my mind those first 48 hours after her diagnosis. When I truly see my baby girl, I see a little girl who is curious, active, chatty (wow...she fits in good in this family!), happy, loving, determined and incredibly strong and even loves her mom's singing (or at least tolerates it!). I truly believe there is no limit to what she can accomplish in her life. I don't place limits on my dreams for the boys....is it right for me to place limits on Hailey's? Yes, there are even times that I have a thought or two pop up that she might get married.
Yes, some would say that I'm living in the land of rainbows and unicorns. That I need to look at statistics and the world around me. I'm going to be honest....I can't. I have to do anything that I can to help Hailey achieve goals and dreams (yes, hers..not mine). I wouldn't look at the boys and say, "Oh, we aren't working on your spelling words because you are never going to write." That is absurd. Why would I put limits on Hailey?
Is it denial? I don't think so. I am firmly planted in reality. I know how hard some things are for Hailey already. I've never seen a baby sooooo close to crawling, working so hard but just not "getting" it yet. I've read the books. I know we have so many challenges and I know we have no way of knowing what the future holds for Hailey, nor do I know what the future holds for the boys. Who knows what medical advances will be uncovered that might help Hailey achieve more (I don't want to change her but I would consider help with cognition and preventing Alzheimer's.) Who knows what her determination will push her to accomplish!
Regardless of what she does or does not accomplish and no matter what the future holds....Hailey is a person who we love very much and she has carved herself quite the niche in our family (and our hearts).
I'm off to snuggle with my little girl and enjoy the quiet of our crazy house!
|Waiting for Ian's Christmas program to start|
|In matching pjs...that not so long ago belonged to Brayden and Ian :-(|
|I'm beginning to think the eyes closed is a family trait....see Brayden below!|
|She gets so excited with her brothers.|
|Happy L??? I'm messing with the tree and nativity display!|