Good bye 2011...Hello 2012

I'm positive I will do a lot of reflecting as Hailey's first birthday approaches.  So I apologize in advance for reflecting on the year twice in two months...I just can't help it.  As 2011 is quickly coming to an end, I can't help but look back on the last 12 months and how different life is now.  I think so much as changed but a lot has stayed the same.  I think back to New Year's Eve last year.  We are planning on spending this year's similar as lasts.  We celebrate with my husband at his work (he always works that evening).  I was quite pregnant but was anticipating my c-section the middle of March.  We were in the home stretch.  The boys and I watched as the band counted down and they showed Times Square on the projection screens.  I kissed my husband and my boys as 2011 began.  I was looking forward to Peanut's birth, anxious about a repeat c-section and praying for a healthy baby with an uneventful delivery.  I hoped for the boys to continue thriving and for the year to be uneventful too.

Ringing in the New Year at Great Wolf Lodge

Dancing away the night

Happy 2011!

Wow....talk about events!  What a year it has been!  Definitely nothing that I had expected...well maybe some.  January and February were uneventful until the very end.  We spent those months prepping for Hailey's big arrival.  We redecorated all the kids' bedrooms and their bath room.  I think we finished the week before she was born!

I will never forget the day before Hailey was born.  I was making my "to-do before the baby arrives" list.  Jason looked at me and asked, "you don't think she is waiting until March 21, do you?".  I simply replied, "Nope...maybe another couple of weeks but that is it".  Little did I realize, I was in labor that entire day and Peanut wanted to make her debut the following day...on her grandfather's birthday.  Who knew I could deliver naturally...definitely not me and I still have a hard time believing how it all happened considering the boys' labors and deliveries!  The following month was a blur but also many details are still so vivid.  I worried about Down syndrome when I was pregnant but I still thought "oh, it won't happen to me".   I thought Hailey have DS was the absolutely worst thing that could happen to me, my family and my daughter in the world.  Wow...was I wrong.  I'm embarrassed sometimes on how I reacted to her diagnosis.  I know, the rest of the world would say it was "normal" but I don't ever want to share that with my daughter.  How could I have ever thought she was "less than perfect"?

Happy birth day, Hailey!!!!

Our little glo-worm!

She found that thumb early!

That is one happy family!

St. Patrick's Day holds bittersweet memories for me now.  It was the day Hailey was finally released from the NICU but it was also the day we found out she needed open heart surgery.  We withheld the latter info from her big brothers.  We wanted them to just enjoy Hailey being home.  They had waited so long for that!

April brought a big trip to Indiana for my sister-in-law's wedding and May brought both of our families to Ohio for Hailey's baptism.

June brought lots of anxiety over Hailey's upcoming surgery.  July brought us anxiety, fear, pleading with God, tears (of sadness and joy), relief, thankfulness and pure joy!

August brought us a quick family getaway, double the soccer season (both boys) and the return of school.

September brought the beginning of Ian's last year of preschool and lots more soccer!

October brought cooler weather, the end of soccer, and trick or treating with 3 little ones :-)

November brought us a Thanksgiving where I was more thankful than ever before.

Oh, what are these?

I spent lots of time getting stuck under and between furniture.

Hi Skippy...you're big but you don't scare me!

Great Grandpa, can't you make her stop?

December has brought us three healthy, happy, spunky, active children, lots of trips to see
Santa, Christmas with both families and our 10 year anniversary.

Yes, our year started rocky...

• things we thought happened to other people, not us
• things that we felt we didn't "deserve"
• we felt if only our faith was stronger, it wouldn't have happened
• we felt God was punishing us for something we had done or not done
• we thought our world had stopped and was over
• things we thought were not "fair"

Wow...I think it was temporary insanity...I can see so much clearer now.  Our life is not over...it is just beginning.  No, we probably don't deserve our little peanut...there are days, I don't believe we deserve so much joy.  We were not being punished, God gave us another gift...another miracle.   My faith in God and his will has never been stronger.

Doesn't she seem to fit so well with all these kids?

We were fortunate enough to receive so many gifts this year.  I have learned so much this year.  Who would have thought that a tiny 10 month, blue-eyed, dimpled-grin little girl could teach her mom and family so much?!?  Strength...perseverance...drive...joy...the list goes on and on.  To think, she is only 10 months old right now.  I can't imagine what she will teach us next year!

Thank you God for 2011!  Can't wait to enter 2012!  Happy New Year!!!!