The Hailey Herald

The Hailey Herald

Thursday, May 3, 2012

THE Look

The look...those of you with children that have special needs will understand what I'm referring to.  Those of you that have special needs of your own know what I'm talking about.  I don't get it all the time but it does happen frequently.  I hope as time goes on that I either A...become immune to it or B...people become more educated and more aware and realize we don't need the look.

Some ask..."what is the look"?  Let me explain when I see it and that might help explain it.  When people find out Hailey has Down syndrome....when people ask how old she is (they find her incredibly small)...when people ask if she is walking and I proudly say that she has mastered crawling and fighting with her brothers...when people find out that Hailey had open heart surgery.

Behind the look is sometimes is relief that it isn't is sympathy.  I know people don't intend on giving the look.  Most try very hard to maintain composure...they give a smile and then utter some pleasantries and then continue with their day.  Who knows if they give Hailey another thought through the day.  Some days the look makes me mad.  I don't want pity.  Some days it makes me sad.  That the person didn't see how fabulous my daughter is and couldn't see past her diagnosis.  That the person didn't treat her as they would any other one year old.

I would like to tell the next person that gives us "the look"...please don't give me your pity and I won't pity you that she isn't in your life because I promise you she would make it better than you could ever dream!

Can you tell she thinks she is getting something she shouldn't have?
Look closely and you can see her new top tooth.


  1. I thought I saw a tooth!!! Yay, Hailey! Love that smile. :) And I know what you mean about the look ...

  2. I'd be giving her looks for sure. But I'd be seriously just trying to elicit that smile! Wow! (I hate the LOOK too.)

  3. Just got the look the other day but it actually made me feel sad for the look giver. They've gone an entire life without knowing what we know!