The Hailey Herald

The Hailey Herald

Sunday, October 20, 2013

Good Enough (31 for 21)

After the "newness" of Hailey having Down syndrome wore off, I was overcome by a new fear.  Not that my daughter was broken or that there was anything wrong with her.  I wasn't worried about her being good enough for our family, but concerned about me.  What if I wasn't good enough for my daughter?  What if I couldn't do what is best for her?  What if she needed someone stronger?  What if she needed someone with more background with children with special needs?  What if we can't give her everything she needs?  Was I enough? 

Occasionally, over the past few years, Those fears come back.  Are we doing enough for her?  Do we much her harder?  Are we doing enough therapy?  Are we getting her involved in enough activities?  Do we need to do more?  Should we do more flashcards, should we get outside more, do we need more playdates?  Do we need more formal therapy?  The list goes on and on and on.

These questions come on a slippery slope.  If I let them consume me, they can lead me down a path of depression and despair and it can take a hold of your soul and not let go.  It can make you feel useless.  It can make you feel unworthy.  Fortunately, I have a fabulous support group, both locally and in the cyber world.

These wonderful moms and women have assured me I am enough.  God chose Hailey to join this family.  This family with a mom who is borderline OCD (good news, Hailey does know how to unload the dishwasher and clean up a mess :-), a dad who has a job that involves some traveling and long hours, and two brothers who "need" to play a sport every season.  We are a family unit, everyone's time and interested are taken into consideration.  Each child has a role.  Each child gets their time.  No one child dictates all the free time of the rest of the family.  They are all equal.  We do what works for all of us.   There is no right or wrong answer.  There is no right or wrong approach to therapy.  We do our best.  That is enough because it is all we can do. 

So the answer is...Yes, I am enough for Hailey. 

 Hailey was as annoyed with the rainy, cold weather as mom was this morning!

I think Hailey may have a "little" too much in the crib with her!


  1. So sweet. Yes, definitely enough. Hailey has what looks like a pretty awesome life, I'd say.

  2. Great post! I too have struggled with the thoughts of "Am I doing enough"...In the end I have decided I am. Loving Russell, providing him with opportunity and growth...It's enough. I refuse to make his life one giant Therapy session.